Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
