Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
