i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
