How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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