I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
