I hate all girls vehemently.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
