No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
