I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I don't think brook has ever known best
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
