We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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