if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
