im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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