Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
