Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
