You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
