No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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