great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
