dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
