He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
