I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
