never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
