if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
