Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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