I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
