dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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