bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
