Is it normal to miss your booty call?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
