Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
worst night to have a conscience
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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