If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
