i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
