My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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