): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
