there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
