Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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