I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Terrible idea I love it
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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