So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
