so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
there is glitter all over my balls
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