Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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