i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
