Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
being pregnant is like rehab
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
how drunk are you?
Several
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
