I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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