We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
