Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
