Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
