you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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