He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
