Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
