I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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