Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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