***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i already hear my dad disowning me
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
