i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
