Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
